I\'ll Miss You If You\'re Gone
by Cosmette Peters
Summary: Lily and James had always been the perfect couple through thick and thin. But the table\'s turn on their oh so perfect world. What\'s Lily supposed to do without her James?


They weren't what you would call a perfect couple, they fought constantly, and often these fights would turn into battles, of whit or sometimes strength. But if you knew the pair well enough it was purely for sport, or at least that's what everyone thought, until one time things went too far.  
  
"If that's what you think then why don't you just leave!!" he screamed, throwing his hand's up in defeat.  
  
"Fine!! Maybe I will," she replied just as loud.  
  
"Fine," he said quietly, as she walked out of the room.   
  
This was the beginning of the end for Lily Evens and James Potter, there would be no more meaningless spats keeping everyone up until the dead of night, no more romantic kiss and make-ups that people made people leave the room in disgust. It really was depressing, but it didn't stop there, they soon began the competition to make each other jealous. James would go have his arm swung around a different pencil thin girl every week, and Lily would let the Quidditch players swoon over her constantly. They were making themselves miserable, but that's how they were, anything to prove they were better than the other. One day ended all the rivalry, the morning Lily walked into the great hall hand in hand with Severus Snape, they were taking in low voices, Lily occasionally giggling, and her cheeks red, this was what pushed James to the end. He just snapped and that night at Quidditch practise, he fell off his broom, a twenty foot drop flat on his back, out cold.  
  
Later that evening in the hospital ward, you could see Lily hovering over him, he was still unconscious, and Madam Pomfrey saying he might have went into a coma. His best friends Sirius Black and Remus Lupin came by periodically, but Lily was there every night after classes, talking to him, holding his hand, anything that she thought would bring him back; sometimes Severus would accompany her, but she was mostly alone, sitting in the hard hospital chair and praying for him. Weeks past and still James showed no sign of change, the school year was drawing to an end and he would be sent home like this, while Lily would have to go back to her muggle family, it was visible that she didn't want this to happen, and as the year was closer and closer to its end she was seen more frequently in the hospital ward, missing classes and meals, to be with him in case he woke up.   
  
But this didn't happen, and when his parents came to the school to apparate him back to their manor, she held his hand tightly to her chest and whispered in his ear, "I love you, so you better come back to me or I'll die."  
  
She was pulled away from him and he disappeared into the crowd. And as she boarded the carriage with his best friends she could be seen sobbing into Remus' shoulder. Why did she have to be so stubborn? If she had just listened to him in the first place none of this would have happened.  
  
When the train stopped at Kings Cross station Lily joined her parents and her sister Petunia, and looking back at the train as it left she whispered, "I'm sorry James."  
  
As the Summer wore on and children began playing in the streets, Lily grew more and more withdrawn in guilt, she only ate when forced to, and never left her room.   
  
One day, Remus knowing how Lily blamed herself for James, came over to make sure she was okay, Petunia let him in, gawking at the tall man, and showed him to Lily's room jealously.  
  
Inside the room was dark and Lily had buried herself under her sheets, "Leave me alone, I'm not hungry."  
  
"Lily," Remus said gently, "Come out Lils."  
  
Lily poked her head out of her hiding place, "Remus? What are you doing here?"  
  
"I came to make sure you weren't doing this to your self, it's not helping the matter any; you torturing yourself. You know that," Remus sat on the bed beside her, as she sat upright.  
  
"But, I don't know what to do. It was my fault, I can't face myself in the morning, I just want to crawl into my hole and die," She admitted.  
  
"That would make James mad. When he wakes up he's going to want you to be there for him, he's weak, he needs your strength to help him," Lily slid into Remus' arms, "He'll turn right back around and die, if he sees you like this."  
  
She looked up at him and sniffed, "I am I that bad?" he nodded, "Oh, sorry."  
  
"Now where's that smile that I'm used to?" he coaxed, she smiled feebly, "Don't make me call Sirius over here, he'll give your sister a heart attack."  
  
Lily had to laugh at this one, Petunia had been known to hate all of Lily's 'kind' and Sirius might make her change her mind, "No don't do that, my parents would kill him."  
  
"Then I want you to get better, for James, and me," she nodded.  
  
Remus left later on in the day, leaving Lily feeling much better than before. What he said had hit home, and she left her room for the first time since school had ended, and soon was back to her usual routine of bugging her sister, and owling her friends who were getting worried.  
  
On the morning of August 17, someone came to the house without warning, the Evans' were sitting around the table eating breakfast, when the doorbell rang, Petunia got up to answer it. In the kitchen Lily heard her sister's trademark squeal and a familiar laugh, "Sirius!" she jumped up and ran to the door.  
  
"Lils!" he called and scooped her into a bearhug ignoring Petunia's evil glares, "How've you been? Remus said you nearly killed yourself."  
  
"Oh that," she said avoiding his concerned eyes, "Yeah I did take a little guilt trip, but I'm all better now."  
  
With that she turned around for him to get a good look at her, she was dressed to kill, in a short skirt, spaghetti top, her hair done into a messy bun; but she had lost a noticeable amount of weight since he saw her last at the station, and he frowned, but didn't say anything.  
  
"So, what's so important that you to get out of your busy schedule and come to see little old me?" She asked smiling at her friend.  
  
"What you're not even going to invite me inside?" He accused standing in the doorway.  
  
"Nah you can just stand there and I'll go finish my breakfast, then I'll come back to deal with you," she replied with a sly grin, and walked back into the kitchen, which was still absent of Petunia, who had stayed with Sirius.  
  
"Lily you get your scrawny arse back here or I'll turn your sister into a horse, so help me god!" Lily giggled at the thought of her sister as a horse, but stopped abruptly when she heard Petunia scream in fear.  
  
"Sirius! My parents are here, you know; you're not making the best first impression, scaring the wits out of my pour sister," She hollered stomping back to the door, planning on yelling some more.  
  
But changed her mind, when instead of Sirius, a large black dog was in attack stance growling ferociously at a very frightened Petunia, "Get him away from me, Lily! Help, he's going to eat me."  
  
Lily promptly put her hands on her hips and taped her foot on the hardwood floor, "Bad dog! Now tell me why you're here or I'll call the dog catcher."   
  
In the blink of an eye the dog was gone, in its place was the always handsome, Sirius Black; clad in leather, and a worried look on his face, "It's James, he's back."  
  
Lily gasped, not expecting this so suddenly, then reacted quickly by slapping Sirius across the face, "Why didn't you tell me!!" and was up the stair and back, with her wand in hand.  
  
No more than a second later the two were on Sirius' motorbike, Petunia watching as they flew off, mouth open in awe.  
  
*****  
  
An hour later they landed in James' front yard, windswept and breathless. Sirius shut off his bike, took Lily's hand to support her, and they walked inside.  
  
The house was cool, compared to outside where the sun was blazing, there were no light on so shadows fell over the furniture, Lily could see Remus sitting on the couch, and approached him. His eyes were closed, he had dozed off it looked like; last night had been a full moon, so he had been up all night. But he woke when she rested her hand on his shoulder, and smiled at her, "They're upstairs." And Lily left the room.  
  
The upper floor of the house was the same as the lower, cool and dark. She quickly found James' room and knocked on the door; James' mother answered the door and told her to come in. His room was like any teenage boys room, posters of Quidditch teams covered the walls, a broom lay in the corner, and a picture of James and his favourite Quidditch player standing in a field waving, was on his dresser.   
  
"Hey Lils," a familiar voice called quietly from the corner of the room. James.  
  
She turned and made her way to his side, "James, you're awake."  
  
He smiled weakly, and took her hand, "I'm sorry, for everything."  
  
She smiled and tears clouded her vision, "shut up, it's entirely my fault."  
  
He shook his head objectively, "No, I was the one who fell off my broom."  
  
"I don't want to argue," she told him, "that's what got us into this mess in the first place."  
  
"deal," he agreed, and the shook hands sealing the deal, "Now kiss me."  
  
  



End file.
